Do I . . . or don't I?

That has been the question.

Do I keep blogging? Or don't I?

I voted no (I blame it on all the pregnant emotions). This pregnancy has turned my world upside down. Many things that I loved to do, I now dread. It was always a release to sit down at the computer and blog, or work on pictures. Now I can't even stand to walk into the computer room. I don't even want to look at the computer. I haven't even wanted to take pictures. I hoped that these emotions would go away, but they are still here.

But . . . I have been out-voted. Kyle and the girls think that I still need to blog, and deep down inside I know I still need to, too. More for journaling's sake then anything else. I've written more down in the last year, then I have in a long time.

I am going to try and do better, and hope that one day I enjoy it again. I hope these emotions don't last forever. I guess we'll see in a few months.

So breath a sigh of relief all of you who frequent my blog. You one person out there :) Today I am going to try (I can't guarantee I'll feel that way tomorrow).

I'm Fwee

Yep, time is still flying by. Three years have passed since Avire joined our family. I am running a little late on posting this (that's my life right now). Her birthday is really on the 15th. Kyle even chastised me for not getting this posted sooner.

Anyway, here's a few pictures.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

This was the only picture I could get her to smile in.

In all the others she had the grumpy look.

Some how the birthday girls at our house always end up cranky or crying.

I had to take a break even before the party started. My back is already killing.

All the cousins

L-R: Charlee, Kenadee, Sam, Halle, Allie, Avrie, Ashtyn,

Paytan, Wes, and Fez (more on him later)

DREAMS

Since I have known Kyle there have been a few dreams he has always had.

There was one that just seemed too far out of reach to ever become a reality.

But life has a funny way of making dreams come true

because . . .

SURPRISE!! (We sure were)

Looks like the little guy is scheduled to enter our world of girls around October 26th (poor kid)!

. . .

I've been sick as a dog, and the headaches won't quit. That has made finishing the house, getting packed, moving, unpacking, and getting settled quite a challenge. So many things had to fall through the cracks (remember LOSER MONSTER). It's been hard to not be physically able to do everything that I need too, but we've tried our best. And judging from past experience, I don't plan on feeling better until October.

Needless to say, Kyle is very excited. The girls were quite excited too. Avrie's remarks were "Let me see the baby. Mom open your mowf." Then the the punch line . . . "MOM, DID YOU EAT THE BABY!?!"

Which one is it?

The comments on my last post got me curious. I always thought it was called "Snowmobiling". Kyle wouldn't quit making fun of me . . . "Only girls go snowmobiling. We go snowmachining." "So if you want to come, we go snowmachining!"

I changed my bad habit, so I could be included . . . only to find out that I could have been right all along!!!!

Lets settle this once and for all. I set up a poll so EVERYONE could vote. We'll see which one finally wins.

No one will know how you vote, or if you voted. But if you want your voice heard (all us Wyoming hicks) lets hear it!!

TUBING

Throughout this horribly busy, horribly freezing winter we've had, we did make it tubing once.

Thanks to Rex and Stephanie Weston. Rex had just gotten a couple of new snow machines, and wanted to go tubing, so they were nice enough to invite us along.

After school one night, we headed out to Carter and found us a good tubing hill. One that was only fun because we had snow machines. On foot, it would not have been so fun. I know this because on the way up the very first time, Kyle dumped me halfway up the hill. So I had to hoof it the rest of the way. The snow machines were defiantly the preferred way of transportation.

Kyle just read this and said that I should have hung on.

In my defense, I was holding on to my camera with one arm, and the tube with another. Had he warned me that he was about to gun it, I would have held on tighter, but I got no warning. Just gunned and dumped!

The crew:

Rex, Brock, Stephanie, Avrie, Kyle, Kenadee and Ashtyn

Kyle

Stephanie and Brock

Avrie and I. I realized how unprepared for anything snowy I am. You think a girl from Wyoming would be set with snow gear. . . not this girl!

Ash - who was a lot braver than I thought she would be. She jumped on the tube and headed down the steep hill with no problems.

Rex with one of the new snow machines.

Kenadee - who is always a trooper even without snow pants herself. We did have some, but they have gotten lost somewhere along the winter.

It was quite a fun evening!

I'm Still Kickin'

Don't know if anyone is still lookin', but I'm still kickin'.

Man . . . did that last post not want to get moved off it's pedestal! I tried numerous times to post something else, but was having major computer troubles, and I didn't have the time to sit down and figure it out.

We did get moved. The house is not done, but it's livable. Right now, I just needed livable. I got different Internet, and it seems to be working better. Hopefully I can keep up now.

I have to say THANKS to everyone who left such great comments on the last post. It really helped to know people cared:) It was one of the worst winters I have had, and the most hopeless I have been. I have a little more hope now, and it's amazing what a little hope can do for ya. But again, thanks to everyone who cared enough to leave a comment. They helped so much!

I did get a few picture developed FINALLY! Here's a few . . .

OH! BTW my friend Kris is the one who made the hats and scarves for the girls for Christmas. They absolutely LOVE them!!

LOSER MONSTER

I ran, I hid, I tried to allude, but in the end it found me, pounced and pinned me to the ground. Not a pretty site. If you've never been pounced on by the loser monster, feel very lucky. It's not something I wish on anyone :)

So here I lay under the huge weight of this ugly monster, wracking my brain to figure out how to move this huge beast off of me. For the life of me I have not been able to figure it out (I do think I have been able to move up to my hands and knees because I can joke about it now).

Think of when Mr. Incredible was running out of the "secret computer room", and was getting pelted with those little, black, rubber balls. They kept growing until even Mr. Incredible wasn't strong enough to keep going. I had every aspect of life come at me all at once, latch on, and blow up into such huge weight that I couldn't stand up any longer.

I'm not proud I let it all get to me, in fact I think that is one of the badges that the monster is proudly wearing . Come to think of it, it looks pretty good in all of the badges it has pinned to it's chest. There are many. I know there are many people going through much worse things then me, and handling it much better (another badge). I have looked around, and I know I am so blessed, but still can't hardly breath (I think I see that one pinned next to the "Horrible Mother" badge. Oh nope, it's next to the "Can't get anywhere on time" badge).

Finally to get through the day I had to shut down. I couldn't talk to anyone, didn't want to go any where or see anyone. Only because I seemed to disappoint everyone I saw. "Sorry we can't do this" or "I meant to call, and forgot" or "We can't have friends over today. We have to be able to see the floor before friends can come over" or "I really wish I could, but can't" or "No we are still not done with the house. Would you quit laughing?" or " I know I should be doing this, but my goal was to get out of bed today, and not go back until bedtime. And that was about all I can handle today". I could go on. . .

Anyway, it's a miserable, yucky place to be. I really never thought that I would be here, and had always hoped I could handle life. Not really the case right now.

It is a heavy, depressing monster to be carrying around. I hope to one day be rid of it, but the longer it stays on, the less I feel like I can be rid of it.

If any one has been pounced on, and been able to get rid of this ugly monster, I could use a few pointers ;)

For anyone else . . . It seems to be pretty attached to me, so you won't have to worry about it finding you and pouncing anytime soon:)

And, once (or if) I figure out how to coax it off my back, I can only hope to help others rid themselves of the monster as soon as possible.

. . .

I meant to post sooner, but my computer has been acting up. It keeps "timing out" when ever I have tried to post or comment on anyone else's. I have tried to comment, but can't. So please don't think I don't care. I don't want to add that badge to the pile. I have run every test I have, but still can't get my computer to work well. I will keep trying.
And I can't get my spell checker to work. Sorry to all of the English pros out there. My grammar and spelling really stink.

BLECK:[

I think that is my word for Valentine's Day.

Better yet . . . I think that is my word for life right now.